“Where am I?”
He kept asking this question. Repeatedly and non-stop, he just kept on pounding at the doors of an unidentifiable room. He wasn’t scared. Nor was there any reason to panic. He asked that question out of natural instinct.
Slowly, it dawned on him. The room wasn’t completely a mystery. Definitely not as much as he thought it to be. He had been in this room before. Many many times in the past, he actually voluntarily stayed in this room. But the condition of the room was different this time.
There were no windows. Just a big thick iron door. The room was particularly empty apart from a small pool of water, in the heart of the room. Empty ceiling and empty walls. As he finished observing the surroundings, he noticed that he was not wearing any clothes either.
Composed and calm, he walked towards the pool, stark naked. As he walked, his body started to burn from the inside out. His scars started to pain. There was a marathon of thoughts. More like memories from the past. For a moment, he was convinced that his heart was about to explode. All his joints were making rusty noises. Blurry vision with blood dripping from his eyes, nose and mouth. Each step was excruciatingly unbearable and yet he crawled up to the edge of the pool. Mustering up all his remaining strength and will power, he peeped into the shining shimmering liquid.
Now, he was surprised. His reflection was, in fact, the opposite of what he was. He didn’t have any wounds or dripping blood in his mirror image. Without any second thoughts, he plunged into the water. An unexplainable relief surged through his mortal body. His scars were asleep again. The heart was in a rhythmic dance synchronized with his serene thoughts. The pain altogether was gone. He kept floating with a sense of tranquility.
He remembered and realized completely what this place was. It was his Lazarus pit. He often came here to imprison his uncontrollable demons. Every time a piece of his self, was unsolvable, he would lock it in here, in this inescapable jail. Pain, agony, hatred, jealousy, greed, anger, lust. Almost all the emotions he had, including anxiety, happiness, love, trust, hope and much more. There was a piece of himself for every emotion inside that pool. All chained to the bottom, eagerly struggling to get out.
After some time, he climbed out of the soothing waters, reborn, rejuvenated and emotionless. And as he did, he shed another bit of his soul to be locked away. A nice warmth coursed through his veins and he walked away out of the room. An empty heart and flesh and bones.
Opening his eyes, he was relieved to know that he was back in the reality. Another day ahead of him, another journey indeed. Sometimes he couldn’t understand his own self. Sometimes, it felt better not to talk. At all. About anything to anyone. The more he discovered himself, the more people he lost. He wasn’t afraid to walk alone. And it was a road that lead nowhere, but all he wanted to do was go there.
Image source : comicbook.com